Please find my enclosed review of Chase's review of the 2027 draft. I believe my piece makes it very clear to potential readers, regardless of baseball knowledge, which reviews to read, and which to skim. Chase's original reviews are in italics, followed by my review of his review, and a letter grade.
Yours,
Colin Shelby
Senior Blog Reviewer, Kansas City Post
Pick 1 - Madison Bombers: SP Luis Castillo, age 20- Not a whole lot to say here. He was my #1 pick in last years draft and that is where he went. While he has not been the same guy in the minors as he was in college his has 5 plus pitches and his velocity continues to increase. Potential to be an ace but I would guess the floor of a #3.
Review of Review of Pick 1: Chase starts off slow in the Review game, tossing out just three sentences. He misses a critical apostrophe, and the sentence structure feels a bit forced. Finally, his prediction for Luis Castillo is too wide, allowing himself too much error to be taken seriously.
(C)
Pick 2 - San Francisco Bandits: SP Josh Ewing, age 20- File this one under "Classic San Francisco" Unable to agree to terms after taking him 2nd overall in 2027 so what does Ewing do? Return to college and only give up 3 runs all season while carrying a K/BB of 16.33. Should be another high pick in 2028...maybe SF will draft him again.
Review of Review of Pick 2: Now we’re cooking with gas! Chase grabs your attention with a classic San Fran Zinger and doesn’t let go. He adds further insult to injury with some well researched (and impressive) statistics. Chase then subverts our expectations by providing another lukewarm take, but it’s only a set up for yet another San Fran Zinger! Bravo!
(A+)
Pick 3 - Maui Tropics: SP Gary Fox, age 20- First let's start with a round of applause for Maui. Fox despite having star potential is still in A ball because he has not proved that he deserves to be in AA yet. While Fox is half his own worst enemy (4.7 BB/9) he has also had a ton of bad luck with a babip of .411.
Review of Review of Pick 3: Solid performance, but not a hall of fame take. Chase allows the reader to extend some praise towards Maui- but we’re not sure if it’s another set up a la Pick 2, or genuine. With the audience on edge, Chase spins us a classic Greek tragedy; a player who strives for greatness, yet constrained by his own mortality and faults. Hope is not yet lost however! The last sentences teases a follow-up, perhaps a sequel Review is in the works once Fox’s BABIP returns to normal?
(B+, awaiting sequel)
Pick 4 - Orlando Calrissian: SS Augusto Padilla, age 20- Padilla was not my favorite pick at #4. While in Plymouth we believe in defense especially at a premium position like SS Padilla's bat might not be good enough to play in the ML. So far so good for him though as he won the GG in rookie ball in 2027 and has been solid at the plate...well that was until Bootstrap thought 12 games was a big enough sample size in A ball so he moved him to AA.
Review of Review of Pick 4: Chase slips his own leash and bites HARD. Again, Sims starts the criticism light, then amps up the pressure with a remark on “a premium position”. Classic “baseball-heads” will immediately note that a shortstop is generally considered to be one of the most important defensive positions, but even if you don’t follow the game, the edge in Chase’s words are sharp. Then the reader gets hit with yet another “Sims Setup” as a Gold Glove compliment is left hanging in the air… then smashed to pieces with a honed and cutting swipe that leaves Bootstrap wounded and embarrassed.
(A)
Pick 5 - Austin River Sharks: 2B Edgar López, age 18- Lopez has one of the best nicknames in BSA with 'Swamp Fox' but it seems like he might not make it to the ML unless he learns how to live with failure. After batting .193 in A ball in 2027 he remained in A to start the 2028 season. After going 5-12 in the first 14 games in 2028 Swamp Fox was promoted to AA to be in a reserve role there. Instead of 'Swamp Fox' it should be 'Swamp Ass' because of all the pine he is riding.
Review of Review of Pick 5: Sims doesn’t push any boundaries when it comes to syntax, this Review follows a very simple format. Two straight sentences that start with “After”? But there can be beauty in simplicity, as any casual reader of Thoreau would remind you. After all, how else would we get to Chase’s clumsily delivered, yet painfully truthful, wisecrack?
(C+)
Pick 6 - Kansas City Kings: SP Keith Hill, age 20- Hill is in interesting guy. Quick glance he looks like he has all the tools but digging a little deeper he seems to be missing the "it" factor. In college he has a great K/9 and a good BB/9 with an inflated babip but nothing crazy. Even with all of these numbers he always found a way to give up runs. Now that he is in the minors nothing has really changed except he walks more and strikes out less so the runs are for sure continuing to come.
Review of Review of Pick 6: Now this is what “MLB Fans” would call an “error”! Chase’s composition to conclude his review would confuse even the most literate English Ph. D candidates. “The runs are for sure continuing to come” isn’t a sentence, it’s a car crash! Skip this Review if you can.
(D)
Pick 7 - Boston Rebels: 3B Paco Córdova, age 20- Plymouth scouting department views Cordova as a 3rd round pick but taken seventh overall with a six million dollar signing bonus. So far it looks like they might have missed on Cordova has he currently holds a .902 OPS and is on pace for 69 xbh.
Review of Review of Pick 7: Occasions manquées! Here we have all of what we, the simple reader, could ever hope for: a player paid too much and picked too early. Lay it on us Chase! Bring down a Sims Slam!
...
Alas! Paco’s actual production leaves our author distraught, as he cannot bring himself to tear down such a wonderful man, no matter how expensive.
(B-/C+)
Pick 8 - Chicago Machine: 2B Armando García, age 20- This pick was trash but because the GM didn't double down on his mistake and sign the player our new GM in town gets to reap the rewards with 2 picks in the top 10 in what looks to be a solid draft.
Review of Review of Pick 8: One wonders if what Chase attributes to a prudent decision might more simply be a case of neglect. Sims ends up doing the heavy lifting for the Chicago Machine, providing them with all the answers, and ignores any of the decision making that went into the pick. We are left without conviction- was this a Good pick or a Bad pick? Really, that’s what we’re here to be told- not determine ourselves!
(C-)
Pick 9 - Birmingham Steeldogs: 3B Mathew Clayton, age 18- Clayton is our first real case of complete neglect in this recap. While Lopez flirted hard with neglect, Clayton takes home the trophy as he is yet to see the field or an at bat in 2028. Despite the GM neglecting him Clayton has a very interesting defensive skill set. He has mad range and a cannon for an arm but can't catch a cold and is allergic to double plays. I bet he would be a solid OF but I am not holding my breath so see that move.
Review of Review of Pick 9: A wise man once said that a picture is worth a 1,000 words. In that case, Chase writes 1,000 broken inline images. If we assume a simple internet snafu (perhaps even on our end!), this Review exceeds expectations. Sims acknowledges his own possible mistake with the Chicago Review (see Review of Review of Pick 8) and then makes a series of excellent word choices meant to subtly evoke the spirit of baseball. Phrases such as “takes home the trophy” remind us of the home runs of our youth, our little league games, our smiling fathers, a kick of sand, and an age when anything was still possible.
(N/A for picture, A for Review)
Pick 10 - Kansas City Kings: SP César Galván, age 20- Plymouth scouting sees his control far less than OSA. Plus he shares a birthday with an ex of mine who also lacked control so I am going to trust my brain on this one as I should have been then too. Galvan just looks like he was a good college pitcher and nothing more. He gives up hits, home runs and walks by the bunches. Good luck with this one.
Review of Review of Pick 10: Sold syntax, excellent word control, and a great reoccurring ‘crazy girlfriend’ trope. However, does this mean Chase dated someone born February 22nd, 2007?
(F if Chase accidentally confessed to being a sex offender, A otherwise)
Pick 11 - St Charles Sheens: 3B Juan Valdés, age 18- Valdes was one of the best bats in high school in 2027 after carrying a batting average of .384 and OBP of .441 to go along with his 21 doubles and 17 home runs. How did his bat carry over to the minor leagues? We have no idea because Sheens GM turned him into a pitcher. So far so good as Valdes went 4-4 with an ERA of 3.05 in rookie ball in 2027.
Review of Review of Pick 11: Chase weaves the reader a mixed tapestry of success for a young man named Juan. We are hooked, can Juan escape the prison of his own upbringing? Does he want to? A somber tale of success and redemption is given a Disney ending- just as we all wanted.
(A)
Pick 12 - Nassau Rockets: SP Paul Lorenzo, age 21- After being drafted 35th overall in 2026 Lorenzo finally came to terms with Nassau in 2027. Unlike most of Dave's prospects Lorenzo has lived up to his billing so far. Coming out of college as one of the most polished pitchers in the draft Lorenzo has not disappointed as he is working on his second sub 3.20 ERA season.
Review of Review of Pick 12: I’m not sure that Chase knows what to do with a successful pick. Sims built his Reviewing reputation on his scolding hot burns, so when the opportunity fails to present itself, he is left to simply regurgitate facts. Plus, why wouldn’t you just type out Lorenzo’s ERA? Is 3.20 a milestone that we should all be aware of?
(D+)
Pick 13 - Seattle Pikes: SP Ron Hannah, age 21-Proof is in the pudding with Hannah. After failing to sign as a second round pick with Bosma in 2026 that should have told you everything you needed to know about Hannah. So what happens? Seattle drafts him, signs him and now he is walking 6 per 9 innigns. Plymouth scouting department pats themselves on the back when his name is mentioned.
Review of Review of Pick 13: Chase gets a meatball over the middle (baseball term for “easy”) with this one, and he knocks it out of the park (baseball term for “good”). Sims tosses us a humorous colloquialism to set the mood- but the reader is unsure just what the ‘pudding’ foretells. Then, BAM! Chase’s reverence for Bosma is our reverence for Bosma, and Chase’s appeal to authority works. GM Carter is raked over the coals for ignoring the signs, and we as readers, have ourselves a good laugh.
(A)
Pick 14 - Kalamazoo Royale with Cheese: SP Dustin Lynch, age 20- Do I even have to look about this one? I am sure he is the second coming of Koyama. Actually he is not he is really just another pitcher. Lynch looks more like a back of the rotation starter than an ace but I am sure Bosma knows something we don't about this guy.
Review of Review of Pick 14: Sims clearly had Review of Pick 13 on his mind with this Review, as it all comes back again to Bosma. Chase gives up any agency he might have had with regards to evaluation, and simply assures us that if it is good enough for Bosma, it is good enough for us. But that’s the coward’s way out! Have some conviction if you’re going to call this a Review!
(C-)
Pick 15 - Niagara Falls Frenzy: RF William Donnelly, age 19- Third time is the charm? Bill Donnelly should hope so as 2028 should be the 3rd time he has been drafted in the 1st round in so many years. Will someone finally sign this man? My money is on yes because everyone knows Donnelly does not want to go back and play baseball at Villanova for another season.
Review of Review of Pick 15: The subject of this review, William Donnelly, is perhaps one of the juiciest picks in the BSA, and Sims treats it as such. We as readers, as well as the other GMs in the BSA are peppered with questions- why, when, how… and we simply cannot answer them! Sims proves himself to be an able and active provocateur, and we simply cannot but help to agree- Donnelly doesn’t want to go back to Villanova! Chase misses a chance to toss some ‘Nova shade, but that can be forgiven.
(A-)
No comments:
Post a Comment